Chatsworth, Georgia in United States of America (Unbelievable)
Chatsworth Boys and Girls Club Rube calls 911:
“It looks like she’s walking around looking for something, vegetation to cut down or something. She has a bag too!”
(Parochial police scanners in Mayberry are bustling with over 3 listeners as tensions mount)
“But she came at you with a knife, though, right?” Chats-worth dispatcher asked.
“No, she just brought the knife onto the property in her hand, she didn’t try and attack anybody or anything,” the Chats-worth bucolic halfwit caller said.
Professionally trained combat ready Chats-worth police officers rush towards the unendurably tension mounting rural hill jack scene as a half dozen residents slowly comprehend a national crisis is mounting
After encountering the elderly woman with a bag for collecting foliage holding a kitchen knife, the chief of the Chatsworth, Georgia criminal crisis intervention police squad, honorary chief Etheridge, gets a bead on the low-sunken shuffling elderly woman with his brother-in-assaultive-munitions backing him up as tensions mount. After what surely must have been hours of wholly misunderstood and corybantic negotiations with the non-English speaking elderly woman, the police professional discerned decisive combative actions were absolutely necessary to protect chief Etheridge’s life as he deployed a taser gun and unloaded an enormous amount of electrical voltage into the apparently uncontrollable elderly woman. Note that tasers are engineered and designed to neurologically disable large men weighing over 250 pounds. After dropping the elderly woman like a wet sack of mail, the heroic chief Etheridge, kept his weapon beaded on the quivering and convulsing elderly 87 year old woman writhing on a wooded path as tensions mounted monumentally. After handcuffing the discombobulated elderly woman and jailing her, the officers, after hours of locally international police pontificating, officially broke the specifics of the Chats-worth newsworthy histrionic debriefing.
One police officer present at the crisis (although arguably consciously aware even though he was present) remarked, “Her demeanor was calm, even when we had our guns out!”
Chief Etheridge, clearly under severe pressure and emotional duress, spoke the following words to the Associated Press and others not remotely associated with much more than roughly a 2nd grade education:
“An 87-year-old woman with a knife still has the ability to hurt an officer. In my opinion, it was the lowest use of force we could have used to simply stop that threat at the time.”
Chief Etheridge and the other three police officers did admit that they did assist the elderly woman to her feet after the acute mobile electrocution session felled their city’s gravest threat in over 80 years.